Subject: Re: Edits attached
From: <[email-masked]>
To: "Miranda, Luis" <[email-masked]>
Cc: Tracie Pough <[email-masked]>, Leah Daughtry <[email-masked]>, Hilary Rosen <[email-masked]>, Walsh, Tom <[email-masked]>, Kate Houghton <[email-masked]>, "Bonosky, Garret" <[email-masked]>, "Guerra, Liana" <[email-masked]>, "Banfill, Ryan" <[email-masked]>, Anita Dunn <[email-masked]>, April Mellody <[email-masked]>
Date: Fri, 20 May 2016 15:42:17 -0400

I thought the separate idea on Dean and Kirk was to make people aware of what actually can and  cannot be accomplished at the convention?

DWS

> On May 20, 2016, at 2:52 PM, Miranda, Luis <[email-masked]> wrote:
> 
> To clear up confusion, this is just her speech today, not the announcement, and our digital team is working on the Medium post.
> 
> The separate idea was to have Howard Dean and Paul Kirk pen a joint op ed on the drafting and public comment process for next week
> 
> 
> 
> Sent via the Samsung GALAXY S®4, an AT&T 4G LTE smartphone
> 
> 
> -------- Original message --------
> From: Tracie Pough <[email-masked]> 
> Date: 05/20/2016 14:47 (GMT-05:00) 
> To: Leah Daughtry <[email-masked]> 
> Cc: "Miranda, Luis" <[email-masked]>, Hilary Rosen <[email-masked]>, "Walsh, Tom" <[email-masked]>, Kate Houghton <[email-masked]>, "Bonosky, Garret" <[email-masked]>, Debbie Wasserman Schultz <[email-masked]>, "Guerra, Liana" <[email-masked]>, "Banfill, Ryan" <[email-masked]>, Anita Dunn <[email-masked]>, April Mellody <[email-masked]> 
> Subject: Re: Edits attached 
> 
> Tom or Ryan- please send Leah the final WORD version. 
> 
> - TP
> 
> On May 20, 2016, at 2:43 PM, Leah Daughtry <[email-masked]> wrote:
> 
>> I can't see the speech, can someone forward? 
>> Thanks.
>> 
>> 
>> -------- Original message --------
>> From: "Miranda, Luis" <[email-masked]>
>> Date: 05/20/2016 1:32 PM (GMT-05:00)
>> To: Hilary Rosen <[email-masked]>, "Walsh, Tom" <[email-masked]>, Kate Houghton <[email-masked]>
>> Cc: "Bonosky, Garret" <[email-masked]>, Debbie Wasserman Schultz <[email-masked]>, "Guerra, Liana" <[email-masked]>, Tracie Pough <[email-masked]>, "Banfill, Ryan" <[email-masked]>, Anita Dunn <[email-masked]>, Leah Daughtry <[email-masked]>, April Mellody <[email-masked]>
>> Subject: RE: Edits attached
>> 
>> Plus Leah and April who are running the roll out. 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> Sent via the Samsung GALAXY S®4, an AT&T 4G LTE smartphone
>> 
>> 
>> -------- Original message --------
>> From: Hilary Rosen <[email-masked]> 
>> Date: 05/20/2016 13:25 (GMT-05:00) 
>> To: "Miranda, Luis" <[email-masked]>, "Walsh, Tom" <[email-masked]>, Kate Houghton <[email-masked]> 
>> Cc: "Bonosky, Garret" <[email-masked]>, Debbie Wasserman Schultz <[email-masked]>, "Guerra, Liana" <[email-masked]>, Tracie Pough <[email-masked]>, "Banfill, Ryan" <[email-masked]>, Anita Dunn <[email-masked]> 
>> Subject: RE: Edits attached 
>> 
>> Where are we with the Paul Kirk howard Dan ideas?  I ask because I think this speech could be shortened a bit and published on Medium a few hours after she gives it.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> 
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> Hilary Rosen | SKDKnickerbocker
>> 
>> 202.464.6969 (O) | 202.320.2711 (C) | [email-masked]
>> 
>> 1150 18th Street NW, Suite 800, Washington DC 20036
>> 
>> Twitter: @hilaryr
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: Miranda, Luis [mailto:[email-masked]] 
>> Sent: Friday, May 20, 2016 1:21 PM
>> To: Walsh, Tom <[email-masked]>; Kate Houghton <[email-masked]>
>> Cc: Bonosky, Garret <[email-masked]>; Debbie Wasserman Schultz <[email-masked]>; Guerra, Liana <[email-masked]>; Tracie Pough <[email-masked]>; Banfill, Ryan <[email-masked]>; Anita Dunn <[email-masked]>; Hilary Rosen <[email-masked]>
>> Subject: RE: Edits attached
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> Got it. I'll print. 
>> 
>>  
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: Walsh, Tom
>> Sent: Friday, May 20, 2016 1:18 PM
>> To: Kate Houghton
>> Cc: Bonosky, Garret; Debbie Wasserman Schultz; Miranda, Luis; Guerra, Liana; Tracie Pough; Banfill, Ryan; Anita Dunn; Hilary Rosen
>> Subject: Edits attached
>> 
>>  
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: Kate Houghton 
>> Sent: Friday, May 20, 2016 1:14 PM
>> To: Walsh, Tom
>> Cc: Bonosky, Garret; Debbie Wasserman Schultz; Miranda, Luis; Guerra, Liana; Tracie Pough; Banfill, Ryan; Anita Dunn; Hilary Rosen
>> Subject: Re: Notes for 5.20.16 DWS ASDC Speech tp edits - 1-Annotated
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> Ready to print. 
>> 
>> 
>> On May 20, 2016, at 12:59 PM, Walsh, Tom <[email-masked]> wrote:
>> 
>> Got it – working on it
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: Bonosky, Garret 
>> Sent: Friday, May 20, 2016 12:59 PM
>> To: Debbie Wasserman Schultz; Miranda, Luis; Walsh, Tom
>> Cc: Guerra, Liana; Tracie Pough; Banfill, Ryan; Kate Houghton; Anita Dunn; Hilary Rosen
>> Subject: RE: Notes for 5.20.16 DWS ASDC Speech tp edits - 1-Annotated
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> Attached are:
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> 1.     ‘DWS ASDC Speech – START WITH THIS’ à use this as your base document to edit
>> 
>> 2.     ‘DWS ASDC Speech tp edits’ PDF à these are the Chairwoman’s edits à Tom make these first
>> 
>> 3.     ‘DWS ASDC Speech – SKD edits’ à Tom these are the edits that Anita and Hilary sent over; make these last 
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> Tom à after making the edits please reply all and send on this thread.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> Kate à please print in Philadelphia (2 copies) and we will do speech prep when we arrive.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: Debbie Wasserman Schultz [mailto:[email-masked]] 
>> Sent: Friday, May 20, 2016 12:48 PM
>> To: Miranda, Luis; Bonosky, Garret; Walsh, Tom
>> Cc: Guerra, Liana; Tracie Pough; Banfill, Ryan; Kate Houghton; Anita Dunn; Hilary Rosen
>> Subject: Re: Notes for 5.20.16 DWS ASDC Speech tp edits - 1-Annotated
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> Yes, we are.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone.
>> 
>> From: Miranda, Luis
>> 
>> Sent: Friday, May 20, 2016 12:38 PM
>> 
>> To: Bonosky, Garret; Walsh, Tom
>> 
>> Cc: Guerra, Liana; Debbie Wasserman Schultz; Tracie Pough; Banfill, Ryan; Kate Houghton; Anita Dunn; Hilary Rosen
>> 
>> Subject: RE: Notes for 5.20.16 DWS ASDC Speech tp edits - 1-Annotated
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> Biggest thing for me is that we should drop the paragraph on the Egypt Air crash entirely. 
>> 
>>  
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: Bonosky, Garret
>> Sent: Friday, May 20, 2016 12:34 PM
>> To: Walsh, Tom
>> Cc: Guerra, Liana; Debbie Wasserman Schultz; Tracie Pough; Banfill, Ryan; Kate Houghton; Miranda, Luis; Anita Dunn; Hilary Rosen
>> Subject: Re: Notes for 5.20.16 DWS ASDC Speech tp edits - 1-Annotated
>> 
>> Tom - Also have additional changes Anita sent; I will send over shortly, make the chairwoman's changes now and then make the Anita edits I send shortly. 
>> 
>> Garret Bonosky
>> 
>> Deputy Director 
>> 
>> Office of the Chair
>> 
>> Democratic National Committee 
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> 
>> On May 20, 2016, at 12:26 PM, Walsh, Tom <[email-masked]> wrote:
>> 
>> Thanks, working on it
>> 
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Guerra, Liana 
>> Sent: Friday, May 20, 2016 12:25 PM
>> To: Bonosky, Garret; Debbie Wasserman Schultz; Tracie Pough; Banfill, Ryan; Kate Houghton; Walsh, Tom; Miranda, Luis
>> Cc: Anita Dunn; Hilary Rosen
>> Subject: RE: Notes for 5.20.16 DWS ASDC Speech tp edits - 1-Annotated
>> 
>> Attached is the word doc
>> 
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Bonosky, Garret 
>> Sent: Friday, May 20, 2016 12:24 PM
>> To: Debbie Wasserman Schultz; Tracie Pough; Banfill, Ryan; Kate Houghton; Walsh, Tom; Miranda, Luis
>> Cc: Anita Dunn; Hilary Rosen; Guerra, Liana
>> Subject: RE: Notes for 5.20.16 DWS ASDC Speech tp edits - 1-Annotated
>> 
>> Looping in Liana who has the most recent edited word document. 
>> 
>> Liana will send to Tom; Tom will edit (with the notes from document attached to this email) and then will send to Kate who will print on the ground on Philadelphia 
>> 
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: [email-masked] [mailto:[email-masked]] 
>> Sent: Friday, May 20, 2016 12:07 PM
>> To: Bonosky, Garret; Tracie Pough; Banfill, Ryan; Kate Houghton; Walsh, Tom; Miranda, Luis
>> Cc: Anita Dunn; Hilary Rosen
>> Subject: Notes for 5.20.16 DWS ASDC Speech tp edits - 1-Annotated
>> 
>> Here is revised draft with my edits. Tom, Luis and Ryan, I want to review with you why the speech had to be dramatically edited so we are on the same page going forward. Thanks for everyone's help. 
>> 
>> Annotation Summary for: 5.20.16 DWS ASDC Speech tp edits - 1-Annotated
>> 
>> Page 2, Line Drawing (Red)
>> 
>> Page 4, Line Drawing (Red)
>> 
>> Page 4, Line Drawing (Red)
>> 
>> Page 4, Typewriter (Red):
>>  Comment: elect a Democrat, once again. 
>> 
>> Page 8, Line Drawing (Red)
>> 
>> Page 8, Typewriter (Red):
>>  Comment: for whom
>> 
>> Page 8, Line Drawing (Red)
>> 
>> Page 8, Line Drawing (Red)
>> 
>> Page 8, Typewriter (Red):
>>  Comment: it
>> 
>> Page 8, Line Drawing (Red)
>> 
>> Page 8, Line Drawing (Red)
>> 
>> Page 8, Typewriter (Red):
>>  Comment: originally, 
>> 
>> Page 8, Line Drawing (Red)
>> 
>> Page 9, Line Drawing (Red)
>> 
>> Page 9, Typewriter (Red):
>>  Comment: happened?
>> 
>> Page 9, Line Drawing (Red)
>> 
>> Page 10, Line Drawing (Red)
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>> Page 11, Line Drawing (Red)
>> 
>> Page 12, Line Drawing (Red)
>> 
>> Page 14, Line Drawing (Red)
>> 
>> Page 14, Line Drawing (Red)
>> 
>> Page 14, Typewriter (Red):
>>  Comment: And Hillary declared it a terrorist act yesterday too. 
>> 
>> Page 15, Line Drawing (Red)
>> 
>> Page 15, Typewriter (Red):
>>  Comment: gloss over
>> 
>> Page 15, Line Drawing (Red)
>> 
>> Page 17, Line Drawing (Red)
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>> Page 20, Line Drawing (Red)
>> 
>> Page 20, Typewriter (Red):
>>  Comment: strengthened our
>> 
>> Page 20, Line Drawing (Red)
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>> Page 22, Line Drawing (Red)
>> 
>> Page 22, Typewriter (Red):
>>  Comment: then
>> 
>> Page 22, Line Drawing (Red)
>> 
>> Page 22, Line Drawing (Red)
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>> Page 23, Line Drawing (Red)
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>> Page 23, Line Drawing (Red)
>> 
>> Page 23, Typewriter (Red):
>>  Comment: get our work done
>> 
>> Page 23, Line Drawing (Red)
>> 
>> Page 23, Line Drawing (Red)
>> 
>> Page 23, Typewriter (Red):
>>  Comment: heard
>> 
>> Page 23, Line Drawing (Red)
>> 
>> Page 23, Typewriter (Red):
>> 
>> Page 23, Line Drawing (Red)
>> 
>> Page 23, Line Drawing (Red)
>> 
>> Page 23, Typewriter (Red):
>>  Comment: the
>> 
>> Page 23, Line Drawing (Red)
>> 
>> Page 24, Line Drawing (Red)
>> 
>> Page 24, Line Drawing (Red)
>> 
>> Page 24, Typewriter (Red):
>>  Comment: Dangerous
>> 
>> Page 26, Line Drawing (Red)
>> 
>> Page 27, Line Drawing (Red)
>> 
>> Page 27, Typewriter (Red):
>>  Comment: of
>> 
>> Page 27, Line Drawing (Red)
>> 
>> Page 28, Line Drawing (Red)
>> 
>> Page 30, Line Drawing (Red)
>> 
>> 
>> --
>> 
>> Marked up using iAnnotate PDF on my iPad