Subject: Fwd: [Die In A Fire] Eugene Delgaudio: No Touchy TSA
From: "Eric Schwerin" <[email-masked]>
To: "Hunter Biden" <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 2 Dec 2010 09:32:09 -0500

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Dr. Negativo and Hatred McArson <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, Dec 2, 2010 at 9:31 AM
Subject: [Die In A Fire] Eugene Delgaudio: No Touchy TSA
To: [email-masked]

<http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_aijIDU3a3r0/TPb8KI0TxuI/AAAAAAAAALg/iayQv4o86ms/s1600/eugene-portrait.gif>
Did
someone say enhanced pat-down? This twit here is afraid that "the next TSA
official that gives you an enhanced pat-down could be a practicing
homosexual secretly getting pleasure from your submission." Eugene Delgaudio
made his fears known in an email
<http://www.wtop.com/?nid=25&sid=2182930>to the members of the
conservative, non-profit Public
Advocate of the United States <http://www.publicadvocateusa.org/>.
Apparently, he believes that the TSA's non-discrimination hiring policy is
"the federal employee's version of the Gay Bill of Special rights."
Therefore (stay with us because the logic gets choppy) the gays must be
quitting their jobs in droves for the scintillating opportunity to get
secret jollies patting down straight men at airports.

So... we don't know who started the rumor that middle-aged, turkey-necked
straight men are catnip to gay men, but, whoever you are, quit it. A joke's
a joke, but people like Eugene Delgaudio actually bought it. It's hurtful,
and leading him on just isn't fair. You have to tell him the truth. It will
be hard for him to hear that gay men have much, much, much more appealing
options than standing around airports all day giving "enhanced pat-downs" to
out-of-shape straight guys. Namely, other gay men. It's not you, Eugene,
it's just that, well, like most straight men you're not attractive and
you're not gay. And contrary to myth, being attractive and being gay are
actually relatively important qualities to gay men.

It's okay Eugene, we're straight guys ourselves and we've come to terms with
the fact that gay men aren't secretly attracted to us either. For a long
time, it seemed inconceivable that gay men just wanted to get on with their
lives and weren't secretly conspiring to seduce us in their big gay webs. It
wasn't easy to hear, since we were conditioned to believe that we were so
awe inspiring that anyone different must want to be like us, undermine us or
destroy us... but eventually we admitted that gay men just didn't give a
diamond encrusted shit. To hear that we weren't even on their agenda? After
everything straight men have done to make their lives hell? You'd think we'd
at least warrant a footnote, but nope, nada. That was tough to take, and the
hurt was real. But in time we learned to stand on our own two feet and get
on with our lives, too. If we weren't on their agenda than we were taking
them off ours. Try it, you'll be surprised how good it feel. There's hope
for you yet, Eugene.

And in the meantime, keep flying those friendly skies Eugene Delgaudio
because no one is getting "secret pleasure" from patting you down.
Absolutely no one.

--
Posted By Dr. Negativo and Hatred McArson to Die In A
Fire<http://dieinafire1.blogspot.com/2010/12/eugene-delgaudio-no-touchy-tsa.html>at
12/02/2010 09:31:00 AM

-- 
Eric D. Schwerin
Rosemont Seneca Partners
(202) 333-1880
[email-masked]