Subject: Emergency Team Of 8th-Grade Civics Teachers Dispatched To Washington | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
From: "Eric Schwerin" <[email-masked]>
To: "Hunter Biden" <[email-masked]>, "David Schwerin" <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 28 Jul 2011 23:18:04 -0400

http://www.theonion.com/articles/emergency-team-of-8thgrade-civics-teachers-dispatc,21023/

Emergency Team Of 8th-Grade Civics Teachers Dispatched To Washington

WASHINGTON—With lawmakers still at an impasse over increasing the debt ceiling, a special team of 40 eighth-grade civics teachers was air-dropped into Washington earlier today in a last-ditch effort to teach congressional leaders how the government’s legislative process works. “We started them off with the basics, like the difference between a senator and a representative, and then moved on to more complex concepts, like what a resolution is,” Bozeman, MT social studies teacher Heidi Rossmiller told reporters as all 535 members of Congress copied down the definition of “checks and balances” from a whiteboard in the House chamber. “It’s been a bit of an uphill battle, since most of them seemed to have no real sense of how or why a bill is passed, and Sen. [Harry] Reid [D-NV] had to come up to me during a break and ask, ‘Ms. Rossmiller, what happens if Congress can’t reach a compromise?’ But hopefully it will all start to sink in soon.” At press time, an unruly House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) had noisily stormed out of a lecture on bipartisan cooperation, claiming it was “too hard.”

Eric D. Schwerin
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