Subject: Re: 21 Things You Say In Work Emails, And What They Really Mean | Thought Catalog
From: "Eric Schwerin" <[email-masked]>
To: "Hunter Biden" <[email-masked]>
Date: Sat, 31 May 2014 23:00:22 -0400

No, you clearly didn't get the concept. 

Eric D. Schwerin
[email-masked]

Sent from my iPhone

> On May 31, 2014, at 7:53 PM, Hunter Biden <[email-masked]> wrote:
> 
> How about this: FUCK YOU MOTHER FUCKER
> 
> RHB
> 202.333.1880
> 
>> On May 31, 2014, at 3:02 AM, Eric Schwerin <[email-masked]> wrote:
>> 
>> 
>> http://thoughtcatalog.com/jordan-lee/2014/05/21-things-you-say-in-work-emails-and-what-they-really-mean/
>> 
>> 21 Things You Say In Work Emails, And What They Really Mean
>> 
>> 1. I’m wondering if I could pick your brain about something: Help me please I am dying.
>> 
>> 2. Looking forward to your thoughts!: Respond to me promptly, asshole.
>> 
>> 3. Just wanted to follow up: Why the F have you not responded to my last note.
>> 
>> 4. I happened to notice your great work on ____ : I’ve spent 3+ hours painstakingly researching your past work in an attempt to ingratiate myself with you.
>> 
>> 5. That’s fair: You win this round, Dr. Doom…
>> 
>> 6. Let’s circle back on this: I can’t deal with u right now.
>> 
>> 7. Great! (1 exclamation point): Sure, whatev.
>> 
>> 8. Great!! (2 exclamation points): I agree, and want you to like me.
>> 
>> 9. Great!!!!!! (3+ exclamation points): Either I am desperately trying to ingratiate myself with you, or, have just had my fourth cup of coffee.
>> 
>> 10. Great. (no exclamation points): I hate you.
>> 
>> 11. Gre34%111at!!!!!: I am on Adderall.
>> 
>> 12. Best: We don’t know each other and never will.
>> 
>> 13. The one initial sign-off: We’re chill as hell.
>> 
>> 14. Regards: I am over 40.
>> 
>> 15. YOLO: I am an asshole whose friends refer to me only by my last name.
>> 
>> 16. I know you’re busy…: You never respond to me and you’re not that important.
>> 
>> 17. Thanks so much for your understanding: Email — Making passive aggression exponentially easier since the early ’80′s.
>> 
>> 18. Can’t help with this at the moment, but I’ll let you know if anything comes up!: Already forgotten what you were asking me.
>> 
>> 19. Let’s move forward with the current plan: If we spend one more minute deliberating on this I will be physically ill.
>> 
>> 20. Thanks so much!!: Sure, whatev.
>> 
>> 21. Please advise: No really. F*cking help me now! 
>> 
>> Read our latest novel — a story of love lost and love found, told entirely in emails, chats, and text messages.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> image – Office Space
>> You should like Thought Catalog on Facebook here.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> Eric D. Schwerin
>> [email-masked]
>> 
>> Sent from my iPhon