Subject: Update Regarding the Upper School Incident
From: "Bryan Garman, Sidwell Friends Head of School" <[email-masked]>
To: <[email-masked]>
Date: Sat, 09 Mar 2019 23:39:53 +0000

Dear Friends,

I apologize that I had to communicate such difficult and disturbing news earlier this week, and want to let you know how much we appreciate the support you have offered. Like many of you and your children, I have been deeply saddened by what occurred and wish that we could have prevented the hurt that has been caused.  As I told the students at our called Meeting for Worship on Thursday morning (click here to read my remarks), I do not enjoy lecturing about behavioral expectations, but when community norms are violated, I am called to affirm and uphold our values.  Please know that we continue to investigate what took place.

Before I explain how we are moving forward, I want first to address a matter that has been reported in the media.  The School has received no reports about a swastika carved into a bench in the Meeting Room.  If anyone has evidence of its appearance, we would, of course, want this information.  The online publication that first reported the incident regarding the bench has not contacted us.

From past experience, we know that when the press reports on incidents that happen in schools, they generally fail to recognize that children are involved.  Their priorities differ from ours, which obligate us to care for our community. We would all do well to remember the advice of William Penn:  "A measure of divine light is in every transgressor, even at the instant of his committing" the transgression.  Serious violations sometimes require separation from the community, but we must always approach such matters with thought and compassion. We must always hold one another in the Light.

We are aware that a swastika was drawn on a classroom board in November 2018.  Mamadou reported on this incident in the parent newsletter after Thanksgiving break. Discussing a poignant Meeting for Sharing that the Upper School held after the Tree of Life massacre, Mamadou shared that "our own school campus has not been immune to the hateful rhetoric. In recent weeks, there have been reports of some students using derogatory slurs in conversation and on social media, including anti-Semitic and misogynistic language, and a couple weeks ago, a swastika was drawn on the board of one of our upper school classrooms. We began a thorough investigation and learned that the swastika appeared on the board after a class lesson about the Nazi political party, the NSDAP. We have not been able to identify the person who drew the swastika, nor do we understand the context in which it was drawn."  He further reminded families and students that the "School will not tolerate hateful language or symbols, and those found to be in violation of our School's deepest core values and Honor Code will face serious disciplinary consequences."

Following these events, the Upper School administration, including the Coordinator of Equity, Justice, and Community, facilitated several conversations about these incidents with our senior class, which was experiencing some challenges in this area.  Moreover, the Upper School Equity, Justice, and Community Day, which all students and faculty were required to attend in January, featured several important presentations and workshops.  John Biewen, the keynote speaker and creator of the acclaimed podcast Seeing White, spoke about the formation of white racial identity and supremacy.  In addition, faculty and students led workshops on a variety of topics, including the power of hate speech.

Now, to update you on our conversations with students. Why would our students engage in the kind of behavior that we witnessed on Wednesday? To be sure, "why?" was the central question I posed to them on Thursday. I hoped to enter into dialogue so that we might better understand root causes, and I am grateful that our students have been willing to step forward and teach us. We adults have learned a great deal about how social media has accelerated the manner in which teens transmogrify culture. The online world of instant and anonymous communication, memes, and hypertext have rendered language hyperreactive, emboldening users to say things that would be unimaginable in an intimate setting, and eroding long-accepted standards of decency, civil discourse, and judgement. In this context, we need to redouble our efforts to teach digital citizenship, to deepen our commitment to broadening human understanding, and to focus on creating a more caring, respectful, and inclusive community.

So we must continue to speak with and learn from one another, to listen deeply to our students.  Mamadou and I will hold an open forum with them on Tuesday, and hope to meet this week with affinity group leaders, who have provided trenchant insights on how we might move forward.  An especially thoughtful pair of seniors advised that we should hold Meeting for Worship this week by grade level, hoping that the smaller group size would encourage more students to share their thoughts and feelings. We have accepted the recommendation.

I have learned important lessons from the ADL (formerly the Anti-Defamation League), with whom we will collaborate to offer faculty and student training programs about how to curtail hate speech and build community. Our faculty, staff and students will, on April 8 and 9, learn from Eboo Patel, the founder of the Interfaith Youth Core, former member of President Obama's Advisory Council on Faith-Based Neighborhood Partnerships, and author of Out of Many Faiths: Religious Diversity and the American Promise. I have worked with Eboo previously and can attest that he is remarkably effective and inspiring. Parents and alumni are also invited to hear Eboo speak on April 8 at 6:00 pm in the Robert L. Smith Meeting Room. At 5:00 pm we will host a community Meeting for Worship, which will offer an opportunity to hold in the Light our concerns around this incident.

In addition, all of our ninth graders will visit the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum, a trip that had already been scheduled for May.  We provided this opportunity last year as well, and will include it in our ninth grade curriculum on an annual basis.  As described in our Strategic Plan, we will identify and design additional opportunities to deepen understanding, create a welcoming community, and promote ethical leadership in our students.  Over the past year, the leadership of the Parents Association has shared that they feel the need to revivify an appreciation for the School's values and mission in its constituency.  The PA and Administrative Council will address this mutually shared concern at a retreat that had already been scheduled for next weekend.

I would like to share, too, what I learned from a thoughtful senior, because his lesson offers insight into conversations that we might have with our children.  I asked him whether many students don't understand the weight of symbols and language, and think that using them in a "humorous" manner is edgy.  He said that it has become accepted in some circles, not just at SFS, to poke fun at other people's oppression.  He is frustrated that when some students utter offensive language, many peers allow the behavior to go unchecked.  He articulated a fervent desire to see students act as upstanders rather than bystanders, to confront hateful language rather than ignore it.  His wisdom recalls the timeless remarks of Elie Wiesel:  "The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference."

Our community has undergone a painful and difficult week.  We have healing and work ahead of us.  But no matter how challenging the circumstances, we must never resign ourselves to indifference.  We must never cease to care about our values of peace and equality, for, as Avishai Margalit writes, an "ethical community makes an effort to channel the hazardous emotions of an involved society into emotions of care and caring."  We must always seek to advance the common good, face the truth, embrace the promise of continuing revelation, and walk cheerfully over the world, answering the myriad divinities we worship, celebrating the many races and ethnicities we represent, and leading with humility in the light of conscience.  I am profoundly grateful that we continue to walk together.

In peace and friendship,

Bryan

Sidwell Friends School

3825 Wisconsin Ave. NW • Washington, DC 20016 • 202-537-8100
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