Subject: Re: DRAFT: Immigration / CAR oped
From: Amanda Renteria <[email-masked]>
To: Dan Schwerin <[email-masked]>
Cc: Kristina Costa <[email-masked]>, Speech Drafts <[email-masked]>, Andrea Flores <[email-masked]>, Jorge Silva <[email-masked]>, Xochitl Hinojosa <[email-masked]>, Maya Harris <[email-masked]>, Lorella Praeli <[email-masked]>, Marlon Marshall <[email-masked]>, Corey Ciorciari <[email-masked]>, Tim Hogan <[email-masked]>, Emmy Ruiz <[email-masked]>, Betsaida Alcantara <[email-masked]>, Sara Solow <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 18 Feb 2016 00:40:37 -0500
List-Id: <speechdrafts.hillaryclinton.com>

What about cutting first paragraph
and changing the open to....

Our immigration system is broken and too many families have been torn apart
as a result.

On Thu, Feb 18, 2016 at 12:33 AM, Amanda Renteria <
[email-masked]> wrote:

> I think it;s too much of a shot.
>
> On Thu, Feb 18, 2016 at 12:19 AM, Dan Schwerin <
> [email-masked]> wrote:
>
>> Hi all, we've reworked this op-ed a bit so sending back around for a
>> final look. In particular, want to gut check that this (especially the
>> first graph) isn't too much of a shot at the administration. And sorry to
>> say, but time is short on this, so would appreciate feedback as quickly as
>> possible.
>> Thanks
>> Dan
>>
>
>
>
> --
> Amanda Renteria
> National Political Director
> Hillary for America #Hillary2016
> 650-868-1188 (c)
> Follow @AmandaRenteria
> on Twitter <https://twitter.com/AmandaRenteria> or Facebook
> <https://www.facebook.com/amandaarenteria/>
>

-- 
Amanda Renteria
National Political Director
Hillary for America #Hillary2016
650-868-1188 (c)
Follow @AmandaRenteria
on Twitter <https://twitter.com/AmandaRenteria> or Facebook
<https://www.facebook.com/amandaarenteria/>