Subject: Re: REVISED DRAFT: MI & MS Primary Night Remarks
From: Amanda Renteria <[email-masked]>
To: Addisu Demissie <[email-masked]>
Cc: Dan Schwerin <[email-masked]>, Jennifer Palmieri <[email-masked]>, LaDavia Drane <[email-masked]>, Speech Drafts <[email-masked]>, Aaron Pickrell <[email-masked]>
Date: Tue, 8 Mar 2016 18:08:52 -0500
List-Id: <speechdrafts.hillaryclinton.com>

First flag jumped out to me as well.

Sent from my iPhone

On Mar 8, 2016, at 5:35 PM, Addisu Demissie <[email-masked]>
wrote:

Two flags:

1) "Let’s give special support to young people who need help the most,
including those at historically black colleges and universities, which play
such a vital role all across our country."

This line seems to equate going to an HBCU with needing help the most - it
jumped out at me when I read it.  I don't think we should conflate the two.

2) "We have to break down all the barriers, and that includes those that
stand in the way of people of color sharing fully in the promise of
America.  Because the truth is, more than half a century after Rosa Parks
sat, Dr. King marched, and John Lewis bled, race still plays a significant
role in determining who gets ahead in America and who gets left behind.

Here in Cleveland you know this all too well.  We wept with you when Tamir
[Ta-meer] Rice was shot.  He should be alive today.  He should be healthy
and happy and dreaming about the future.

Too many other children here are growing up in poverty.  And more than 14
percent of Cleveland kids have been exposed to dangerous levels of lead –
that’s even more than in Flint."

I'm probably being hypersensitive here but when I read this it almost felt
like we were transitioning from talking about race to talking about poverty
too quickly - could be criticized for doing just what we are knocking
Bernie for.

On Tue, Mar 8, 2016 at 2:19 PM, Dan Schwerin <[email-masked]>
wrote:

> Revised draft for tonight, with WJC edits included.  Please send me any
> final flags.
> Thanks
> Dan
>
>