Subject: Re: REVISED DRAFT: MI & MS Primary Night Remarks
From: "Ann O'Leary" <[email-masked]>
To: Karen Finney <[email-masked]>
Cc: Amanda Renteria <[email-masked]>, Addisu Demissie <[email-masked]>, Dan Schwerin <[email-masked]>, Jennifer Palmieri <[email-masked]>, LaDavia Drane <[email-masked]>, Speech Drafts <[email-masked]>, Aaron Pickrell <[email-masked]>
Date: Tue, 8 Mar 2016 16:00:52 -0800
List-Id: <speechdrafts.hillaryclinton.com>

For the paragraph on when parents of sick kids in Flint... would be great
if you could also add a reference to the young people who will be part of
Flint Water Works.... I'd say "or the young people in Flint who might be
out of work and out of school, but they are not out of hope and they are
stepping up to deliver water and make sure families have healthy foods so
they can rebuild and repair their communities and get experience to be the
leaders of Flint tomorrow..."

And - I agree with Karen on HBCUs instead of saying "support" which sounds
like a handout - let's say invest in HBCUs

On Tue, Mar 8, 2016 at 3:37 PM, Karen Finney <[email-masked]>
wrote:

> 1) on HBCU's can we say "and let's invest in America's historically black
> colleges"
> 2) is it "in-shoring" or "on-shoring"?
>
> On Tue, Mar 8, 2016 at 6:08 PM, Amanda Renteria <
> [email-masked]> wrote:
>
>> First flag jumped out to me as well.
>>
>> Sent from my iPhone
>>
>> On Mar 8, 2016, at 5:35 PM, Addisu Demissie <[email-masked]>
>> wrote:
>>
>> Two flags:
>>
>> 1) "Let’s give special support to young people who need help the most,
>> including those at historically black colleges and universities, which play
>> such a vital role all across our country."
>>
>> This line seems to equate going to an HBCU with needing help the most -
>> it jumped out at me when I read it.  I don't think we should conflate the
>> two.
>>
>> 2) "We have to break down all the barriers, and that includes those that
>> stand in the way of people of color sharing fully in the promise of
>> America.  Because the truth is, more than half a century after Rosa Parks
>> sat, Dr. King marched, and John Lewis bled, race still plays a significant
>> role in determining who gets ahead in America and who gets left behind.
>>
>> Here in Cleveland you know this all too well.  We wept with you when
>> Tamir [Ta-meer] Rice was shot.  He should be alive today.  He should be
>> healthy and happy and dreaming about the future.
>>
>> Too many other children here are growing up in poverty.  And more than 14
>> percent of Cleveland kids have been exposed to dangerous levels of lead –
>> that’s even more than in Flint."
>>
>> I'm probably being hypersensitive here but when I read this it almost
>> felt like we were transitioning from talking about race to talking about
>> poverty too quickly - could be criticized for doing just what we are
>> knocking Bernie for.
>>
>> On Tue, Mar 8, 2016 at 2:19 PM, Dan Schwerin <
>> [email-masked]> wrote:
>>
>>> Revised draft for tonight, with WJC edits included.  Please send me any
>>> final flags.
>>> Thanks
>>> Dan
>>>
>>>
>>
>
>
> --
> *Karen Finney*
> *Senior Adviser for Communications & Political Outreach*
> *Hillary for America*
> [email-masked] <[email-masked]>*
>
>

-- 
Ann O'Leary
Senior Policy Advisor
Hillary for America
Cell: 510-717-5518