Subject: Re: DRAFT: Women in prison oped
From: Corey Ciorciari <[email-masked]>
To: Kristina Costa <[email-masked]>
Cc: Speech Drafts <[email-masked]>, Sara Solow <[email-masked]>, Maya Harris <[email-masked]>
Date: Sat, 20 Feb 2016 17:10:57 -0500
List-Id: <speechdrafts.hillaryclinton.com>

I think its great. One suggestion to make it a bit less wonky is to use the
real person stories to validate a belief rather than a policy. Making
something like this:

As President, I will lead the fight for comprehensive criminal justice
reform because it’s a human rights issue—and that makes it a women’s rights
issue.

It’s a women’s right issue for Tanya,* who at 20 years-old made a new
friend on the basketball court. For two months, they rode his motorcycle
all over town, just hanging out. Then one day, he told her he needed to
pick something up from his sister. He actually went and robbed a house.
When the police caught up with them, Tanya was arrested. She was sentenced
to 12 years in prison for a robbery she didn’t commit.

On Sat, Feb 20, 2016 at 3:38 PM, Kristina Costa <[email-masked]>
wrote:

> Team,
>
>
>
> Attached is a draft oped for HRC on the unique challenges faced by women
> in the criminal justice system. We had discussed running this in Essence or
> another Af-Am publication prior to SC. I conducted several interviews with
> formerly incarcerated women to write this, so will need to run final
> descriptions of their stories by them before we publish.
>
>
>
> Please send edits and comments today so we can try to put in the book
> tonight.
>
>
>
> Thanks,
>
>
>
> Kristina
>

-- 
Corey Ciorciari
Policy Department
Hillary for America
@CoreyCiorciari