Subject: Re: DRAFT: Atlanta Rally
From: Dan Schwerin <[email-masked]>
To: Speech Drafts <[email-masked]>, LaDavia Drane <[email-masked]>, Richard McDaniel <[email-masked]>, Corey Ciorciari <[email-masked]>, Brynne Craig <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 29 Oct 2015 21:03:36 -0400
List-Id: <speechdrafts.hillaryclinton.com>

Thanks for good feedback on this. Here is latest draft.

On Thu, Oct 29, 2015 at 5:38 PM, Dan Schwerin <[email-masked]>
wrote:

> Here is a revised -- and tighter -- draft. Please take a look.
> Thanks
> Dan
>
> On Thu, Oct 29, 2015 at 3:47 PM, Dan Schwerin <
> [email-masked]> wrote:
>
>> Hi all, I'd love your thoughts on this draft for tomorrow in Atlanta.
>> Per guidance from the team this speech 1) honors the legends of the civil
>> rights movement and ties HRC to that history; 2) re-ups some of the more
>> effective stuff we've said previously about race in America and puts it
>> under our umbrella of the problems that keep families up at night; 3) rolls
>> out new criminal justice reforms; 4) hits Bernie on "course correction."
>>
>> Please take a look. I'd love to cut a few hundred words out, so
>> suggestions welcome.
>> Thanks
>> Dan
>>
>
>