Subject: Re: DRAFT: Atlanta Rally - revised
From: Dan Schwerin <[email-masked]>
To: Joel Benenson <[email-masked]>
Cc: Mandy Grunwald <[email-masked]>, Speech Drafts <[email-masked]>, LaDavia Drane <[email-masked]>, Richard McDaniel <[email-masked]>, Corey Ciorciari <[email-masked]>, Brynne Craig <[email-masked]>
Date: Fri, 30 Oct 2015 10:06:41 -0400
List-Id: <speechdrafts.hillaryclinton.com>

Mandy and Joel are right that it's always an applause line.

> On Oct 30, 2015, at 9:56 AM, Joel Benenson <[email-masked]> wrote:
>
> This speech is awesome and is going to get a lot of attention.
>
> To Mandy's point, I think if we can work it in as a belief statement as she usual does --- Yes, black lives matter --- it's simple, powerful and will get applause.
>
>
> One very small thing -- but I wouldn't push this if it disrupts the speech --- but the NYT story on traffic stops/searches etc --- shows a real pattern of disparity in something more everyday than the crime and violence states.  Plugging one of those stats about:  " in many places,  if you're black you're more likely to get pulled over for traffic violations and more likely to have your car searched when that happens. "
>
> One line but it's the less obvious and less talked about issue about institutional racism.
>
> Joel
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: [email-masked] [mailto:[email-masked]] On Behalf Of Dan Schwerin
> Sent: Friday, October 30, 2015 9:51 AM
> To: Mandy Grunwald
> Cc: Speech Drafts; LaDavia Drane; Richard McDaniel; Corey Ciorciari; Brynne Craig
> Subject: Re: DRAFT: Atlanta Rally - revised
>
> It says she met with young people involved with "black lives matter."
> Do folks think we need a more direct statement on that?
>
>
>
>> On Oct 30, 2015, at 9:47 AM, Mandy Grunwald <[email-masked]> wrote:
>>
>> Did you take out "black lives matter"?
>>
>> Mandy Grunwald
>> Grunwald Communications
>> 202 973-9400
>>
>>
>>> On Oct 30, 2015, at 9:21 AM, Dan Schwerin <[email-masked]> wrote:
>>>
>>> The Secretary wanted to rework this speech so here's a new draft. If possible, would love comments in next hour pls.
>>> MAYA/JAKE/COREY, pls take a close look at ban the box and rest of policy section.
>>> <2015-10-30 Atlanta rally - 9am.docx>