Subject: Re: Launch speech draft
From: Dan Schwerin <[email-masked]>
To: Mandy Grunwald <[email-masked]>
Cc: Kristina Schake <[email-masked]>, Huma Abedin <[email-masked]>, Joel Benenson <[email-masked]>, Jim <[email-masked]>, John Anzalone <[email-masked]>, David Binder <[email-masked]>, Jennifer Palmieri <[email-masked]>, Jake Sullivan <[email-masked]>, Robby Mook <[email-masked]>, John Podesta <[email-masked]>, Jon Favreau <[email-masked]>, Lissa Muscatine <[email-masked]>
Date: Sat, 16 May 2015 13:32:16 -0400

We're working on that and hope to have new language/outline to share
later today.

> On May 16, 2015, at 1:27 PM, Mandy Grunwald <[email-masked]> wrote:
>
> I was hoping to see new speech paragraphs, so we could align the home base language with new announce language.
>
> Mandy Grunwald
> Grunwald Communications
> 202 973-9400
>
>
>> On May 16, 2015, at 1:05 PM, Kristina Schake <[email-masked]> wrote:
>>
>> Huma, you mean the home base language for her message events and
>> fundraisers until the launch? Basically the topper for every event
>> that hits our core message before adding the issue of that day. Mandy
>> is helping us write that.  Mandy I know we asked you for a lot this
>> weekend. Possible to do by noon tomorrow?
>>
>>
>> Sent from my iPhone
>>
>>> On May 16, 2015, at 12:42 PM, Huma Abedin <[email-masked]> wrote:
>>>
>>> Where are you guys on home base language? Can we get by 12pm tomorrow?
>>>
>>> Sent from my iPhone
>>>
>>>> On May 14, 2015, at 4:35 PM, Dan Schwerin <[email-masked]> wrote:
>>>>
>>>> Team, here is a first draft of the Launch Speech. Thanks to Lissa Muscatine and Jon Favreau for great work on this, and to Joel for his advice.
>>>>
>>>> This rough draft is very much a work in progress and there are a number of questions to consider as you read.
>>>>
>>>> -- At this stage, we're most concerned with structure and themes. In general, it would be great if you could focus for now on those issues rather than specific language.
>>>> -- You'll see that "It's Your Time" is not in here yet. Jon and Lissa, with fresh eyes, both raised concerns that this wouldn't work well here, if at all.  Joel also has concerns. So that's worth discussing.
>>>> -- "The Vision Thing."  This remains a challenge. As you read, does it feel like a vision for the future comes through? If not, that's a place we really need to focus.
>>>> -- The Four Fights.  I think nobody really loves the Four Fights but we haven't come up with a better frame for her policy agenda. If there's a great alternative, we should sell her on it.  If not, we should try to make sure the Four Fights feels coherent and big enough to carry the agenda and stand up to the echo of Roosevelt's Four Freedoms.
>>>> -- This is too long, so suggested cuts would be very welcome.
>>>>
>>>> We have committed to give HRC a draft to read over the weekend, but then we have several weeks to get this right.  So it would be great for folks to send me thoughts and reactions via email tonight or tomorrow morning. And then we can look forward to more in depth conversations down the road.
>>>>
>>>> Thanks very much.
>>>> Dan
>>>> <2015-05-14 Launch Speech - 4pm.docx>