Subject: Re: REVISE HOME BASE TALKING POINTS FOR HRC
From: Dan Schwerin <[email-masked]>
To: Mandy Grunwald <[email-masked]>
Cc: "[email-masked]" <[email-masked]>, "[email-masked]" <[email-masked]>, "[email-masked]" <[email-masked]>, "[email-masked]" <[email-masked]>, "[email-masked]" <[email-masked]>, "[email-masked]" <[email-masked]>, "[email-masked]" <[email-masked]>, "[email-masked]" <[email-masked]>
Date: Sun, 17 May 2015 11:38:49 -0400

I think it's very nice

On May 17, 2015, at 11:32 AM, Mandy Grunwald <[email-masked]> wrote:

Attached is a draft of the Home Base intro talking points, using some of
HRC's new language.

 This reflects Joel's edits too.

 Please let me know what you think.

 If people are happy with this, please get to HRC.

 thx

*Mandy Grunwald*
*Grunwald Communications*
*202 973-9400*

-----Original Message-----
From: Robby Mook <[email-masked]>
To: Mandy Grunwald <[email-masked]>
Cc: Huma Abedin <[email-masked]>; Kristina Schake <
[email-masked]>; Dan Schwerin <[email-masked]>;
Joel Benenson <[email-masked]>; Margolis, Jim <[email-masked]>;
John Anzalone <[email-masked]>; David Binder <[email-masked]>;
Jennifer Palmieri <[email-masked]>; Jake Sullivan <
[email-masked]>; John Podesta <[email-masked]>; Jon
Favreau <[email-masked]>; Lissa Muscatine <[email-masked]>
Sent: Sat, May 16, 2015 5:15 pm
Subject: Re: Launch speech draft

 Yes--that's my understanding.

 On Sat, May 16, 2015 at 5:14 PM, Mandy Grunwald <[email-masked]> wrote:

>
>  And just to be clear -- she is looking for a tighter version of the
> opening she has been doing at events/fundraisers -- that is still Four
> Fights -- but reflects some of her favorite new additions (like mental
> health)-- without being a laundry list.
>
>   Is that correct?
>
>  *Mandy Grunwald*
> *Grunwald Communications*
>  *202 973-9400 <202%20973-9400>*
>
>
>  -----Original Message-----
> From: Huma Abedin <[email-masked]>
> To: Robby Mook <[email-masked]>
> Cc: Mandy Grunwald <[email-masked]>; Kristina Schake <
> [email-masked]>; Dan Schwerin <[email-masked]>;
> Joel Benenson <[email-masked]>; Jim <[email-masked]>; John
> Anzalone <[email-masked]>; David Binder <[email-masked]>;
> Jennifer Palmieri <[email-masked]>; Jake Sullivan <
> [email-masked]>; John Podesta <[email-masked]>; Jon
> Favreau <[email-masked]>; Lissa Muscatine <[email-masked]>
> Sent: Sat, May 16, 2015 5:10 pm
> Subject: Re: Launch speech draft
>
>    Yes that would be ideal. This way she will have tomorrow
> afternoon/evening to review and can give feedback by Monday am.
>
> Sent from my iPhone
>
> On May 16, 2015, at 4:30 PM, Robby Mook < [email-masked]> wrote:
>
>   Since it sounds like we won't have the paragraphs until later today and
> since we need the new home base by mid day tomorrow, I think we should just
> move forward with a revised home base using what we have right
> now--essentially refining the core message and four fights.  I appreciate
> trying to start to pivot to where we want to go with the speech, but my
> larger concern is that she have sufficient time with the material.
>
>  On Sat, May 16, 2015 at 1:27 PM, Mandy Grunwald <[email-masked]> wrote:
>
>> I was hoping to see new speech paragraphs, so we could align the home
>> base language with new announce language.
>>
>> Mandy Grunwald
>> Grunwald Communications
>> 202 973-9400
>>
>>
>> > On May 16, 2015, at 1:05 PM, Kristina Schake <
>> [email-masked]> wrote:
>> >
>> > Huma, you mean the home base language for her message events and
>> > fundraisers until the launch? Basically the topper for every event
>> > that hits our core message before adding the issue of that day. Mandy
>> > is helping us write that.  Mandy I know we asked you for a lot this
>> > weekend. Possible to do by noon tomorrow?
>> >
>> >
>> > Sent from my iPhone
>> >
>> >> On May 16, 2015, at 12:42 PM, Huma Abedin < [email-masked]>
>> wrote:
>> >>
>> >> Where are you guys on home base language? Can we get by 12pm tomorrow?
>> >>
>> >> Sent from my iPhone
>> >>
>> >>> On May 14, 2015, at 4:35 PM, Dan Schwerin <
>> [email-masked]> wrote:
>> >>>
>> >>> Team, here is a first draft of the Launch Speech. Thanks to Lissa
>> Muscatine and Jon Favreau for great work on this, and to Joel for his
>> advice.
>> >>>
>> >>> This rough draft is very much a work in progress and there are a
>> number of questions to consider as you read.
>> >>>
>> >>> -- At this stage, we're most concerned with structure and themes. In
>> general, it would be great if you could focus for now on those issues
>> rather than specific language.
>> >>> -- You'll see that "It's Your Time" is not in here yet. Jon and
>> Lissa, with fresh eyes, both raised concerns that this wouldn't work well
>> here, if at all.  Joel also has concerns. So that's worth discussing.
>> >>> -- "The Vision Thing."  This remains a challenge. As you read, does
>> it feel like a vision for the future comes through? If not, that's a place
>> we really need to focus.
>> >>> -- The Four Fights.  I think nobody really loves the Four Fights but
>> we haven't come up with a better frame for her policy agenda. If there's a
>> great alternative, we should sell her on it.  If not, we should try to make
>> sure the Four Fights feels coherent and big enough to carry the agenda and
>> stand up to the echo of Roosevelt's Four Freedoms.
>> >>> -- This is too long, so suggested cuts would be very welcome.
>> >>>
>> >>> We have committed to give HRC a draft to read over the weekend, but
>> then we have several weeks to get this right.  So it would be great for
>> folks to send me thoughts and reactions via email tonight or tomorrow
>> morning. And then we can look forward to more in depth conversations down
>> the road.
>> >>>
>> >>> Thanks very much.
>> >>> Dan
>> >>> <2015-05-14 Launch Speech - 4pm.docx>
>>
>
>
  <HRC Home Base Intro 5-17.docx>