Subject: Re: A few small edits on latest drafts
From: Dan Schwerin <[email-masked]>
To: John Podesta <[email-masked]>
Cc: Jake Sullivan <[email-masked]>
Date: Sat, 11 Jul 2015 17:29:51 -0400

Thanks! On with her now and making edits, so will send back to you shortly
for another look if that's ok.

On Sat, Jul 11, 2015 at 5:29 PM, John Podesta <[email-masked]>
wrote:

> page 3 why would we say proud to have served "with" President Obama rather
> than served President Obama. Seems like she's elevating herself to equal
> status. Her service to him is one of her strongest attributes in our polling
>
> On page 5 instead of too little investments in new businesses, jobs and
> fair compensation, what about businesses, jobs and the backbone of their
> companies--their workers.
> Fair Compensation doesn't seem like an investment to me.
>
> On page 7 infrastructure bank. The order seems a little past versus future.
> How about finance world class airports, railways, roads, bridges and
> ports...
>
> On page 11 re Bush's comments on hours, I'd delete "or long enough" and
> just stick with aren't working hard enough.  Takes away their defense on
> part time workers.
>
> On page 17 why don't we change threats emerging from Greece and elsewhere
> in recent weeks to Greece and China in recent weeks. Elsewhere sounds like
> you mean PR, but we're afraid to say so, and it would be good to reference
> China in a mildly negative way in this speech.
>
> That's it. Great job.
>